The worst part about turning 50 and sending the oldest child off to college is that most of the current and future transitions of life will not be about "hellos" but "goodbyes." Maybe it's been that way all along, but before there was a balance. Now the scales tip toward endings instead of beginnings. Yes, I get it -- my life is starting a new chapter but what could possibly top giving birth, kissing the back of your kid's neck, singing silly songs, watching them play sports, taking them on vacation and most importantly, reliving the wonders of the earth, nature and the universe through their eyes. It's been a terrific ride, bringing up babies, but the future looks hazy through my misty eyes. As my sister said, "It maybe the best of life is over." And so what if it is.
We baby boomers are writing a new book and not just a chapter. Until the last century most folks died by their 50th birthday. "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in at this steady pace," so said the guy who died at 52. For only the third or fourth generation in history, humans will live the majority of their lives after their children grow up and leave home. How to spend the time?
The danger of aging is not staying relevant. It's a chore, but keep at it. Read what the young write. Listen to their music. Hear their ideas as if their fresh; relish the fact there is nothing new under the sun, but smile knowing it is new to them. Change careers. Travel. Take risks. Exercise every day. Paint. Play piano. Learn a new language. Learn Welsh! Write poetry. Write bad poetry and I dare you to read it at an open mic night. Be Foolish.
April, I especially love your last paragraph. Many of us slip into the comfort of what we already know, as though we've somehow done all that we can expect from ourselves. That's Old time thinking. Most parents,grandparents, even friends think in Old Time and find this the easy way to let go of truly living. It's a little like "I already gave" when asked for a donation. Its hard to take chances when you're older, youth does that with greater confidence.
ReplyDeleteAnd using those synapses appears to forestall the boogeymen of aging - dementia, and alzheimers (or as a friend calls it, Halfheimers.) It's scary to put yourself out there. But maybe the adrenaline surge is like caffine and powers the engine.
Thanks for a great post.